Nneka Feat Nas - Heart Beat

Beaty? Part 1.25

"Whenever it erupts, this funk, they wipe it away; where it crusts they dissolve it; wherever it drips, flowers,or clings, they fight it until it dies. They fight this battle all the way to the grave. The laugh that is a little too loud; the enunciation a little too round; the gesture a little too generous. They hold their behind in for fear of a sway too free; when they wear their lipstick, they never cover their entire mouth for fear of lips too thick, and they worry, worry, worry about the edges of their hair."
~ Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye

This quote stood out to me from one of my reading on Gender and the Law in the Commonwealth Caribbean and reminded me of an earlier post I did on Beauty ...I just had to share. I definitely have to put that book on my reading list.

Again I ask...What are we so afraid of?

xoxoSheba

Irie Pencils

Project 365

I have been taking photographs for quite some time with my point and shoot. For some reason I am totally captivated by capturing moments and expressing myself creatively through photographs. I used to paint and draw and sometimes I think photography has been my lazy way of continuing my creative streak.

Anyhow...
This weekend a former classmate of mine came across my flickr page and checked out some of my work. He favourited a couple of my captures and tweeted me about how much he appreciated discovering my shots.

Unexpectedly he wrote a blog post on them and direct messaged me the link. I was so flattered and I thought I should share on my blog. I never considered my work to be spectacular or extra ordinary in any sense (I still don't)... I just loved having a creative outlet and quite honestly my flickr contacts kept me inspired.

Here is Bart's or B.art's piece :

Inspiration

I feel moved to record my absolute awe for the creativity of a young friend of mine. Earlier I came across the photography of Sheba (well “♥*★ShebZ*★• (rediculously busy)“ to be accurate) and I was doused with inspiration like I haven’t felt in a long time. My initial reaction was to run the 5 miles to my sisters house where I left my point-and-shoot and atrophy the empty space on the memory card in celebration. I was that inspired.

Her photos (like this and this) are somewhat muted but not in a way that makes them dull. Rather, they have the stop-and-stare effect. The effect is not wrought of the shock and awe, attention-whore approach that is typical of her generation. It strikes me more as photos with that irresistable lure of untainted honesty.

This unblemishedness, perhaps unwittingly, strikes a contrast with her technique. Much of her photos have a treatment that strikes me as stills taken from old, dust-speckled footage. Purity expressed in grunge and dirt. Beautiful.

These shots, when taken together with the text descriptions beneath and sometimes in the pictures themselves, serve as a poignant and personal diary of an obviously well read, sensitive woman. Maybe the footage I imagined the photos to be taken from was a love story?

So right now I guess i should say thank you to my Grenadian friend for through her own photographic explorations, she has left me completely re-energised and inspired.

On a deeper level my discovery of these photos highlight the value of those rare moments when the element of surprise (aka the unknown) and human creativity collide. Balled up in the moments when people like me see pictures like Shebz’s for the first time in a long while is the sum total of her diligently (somehow I’m sure she’d disagree with me using that word to describe her photography) developed craft. Put another way, if we have a talent and we keep working on it, unaware to others us around us, whenever they are exposed to that particular talent of ours a second time, they are bound to meet upon something more splendid and inspiring than the first time.

My intuition tells me the odd sense of joy I felt at seeing the amazing photos she’s been taking all this time had little to do with the beauty of the photos themselves. It was more of a confirmation of an awakening I’ve been feeling - a calling of sorts - about engaging with the notions of diligence and discipline in my own life. Working at taking my own beautiful photographs (both symbolically and literally) until I’ve done enough to inspire others with my own work.

I’m going to take charge!

Here is a link to his tumbler blog: Bartandlife thanx again Bart...Like we say at home "Ah feel nice"

Damain Marley - The Mission

I almost forgot how much I loved his music...Ain't he sexy!

Maxwell - This Woman's Work

I loved this song from Love and Basketball

Vegetatian Creations

I thought to add some diversity to my blog I would start a little recipe corner. I absolutely love food and being creative and playing around with ideas. I don't ever cook by measurements. I suppose I learned that from my mom. You cook with feeling and everything should work out fine. I have no clue whether this little vegetarian creation that I thought of is original. As a matter of fact this creation is a pretty obvious yummy combination for those of you that love Italian food.

For now let's call it "Grilled Cheese Italia"

Ingredients

Modified Broschetta

Fresh Tomato
Oregano instead of Basil
Garlic
Salt
Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Cut up as many Tomatoes as you like depending on how many sandwiches you plan on making. For my one sandwich I used half a tomato. Cut out the moist part with the seeds. I find that when you leave in the seeds the mixture becomes too watery. Add all the seasonings and let it sit for a while to soak up all the flavours.

Meanwhile put a non stick skillet on the stove at medium heat.

For the rest of the sandwich :

Three Slices of Bread ( Bran or Whole wheat or white)
Cheese

Assemble the Sandwich:

Bread: Cheese: Bruschetta: Bread: Cheese : Bruschetta: Bread

Place in the skillet and grill from both sides

* At one point I turned the fire very low and I placed a pot cover over the skillet to circulate the hot air to ensure that the cheese had melted.

My sandwich came out slightly burnt but I still tasted great.

Song of the Day - Ayo - Life is real

In loving Memory of Gina

This summer a lot has happened but I would like to take some time out to pay tribute to my dog Gina who died very recently.
Now Gina is not your average dog. In fact 75% of the time she was a pain in the butt. She always chewed up my shoes and pulled things from the line. Once she even ate my bikini and christmas lights. She even chewed our sofa covers zipper which is now beyond repair and no garbage bag was left in one piece. She stole the neighbour's stuff and worst of all dragged our neighbour's son's dirty diapers into the yard. The funny thing is you would never catch her in the act. You would only see the evidence.For those of you who have seen Marley and me...she is like a smaller female version of him (personality not breed)

However...I loved that dog so much. She had the sweetest personality and the biggest most understanding eyes. She loved to cuddle and if you were not careful she would end up on your lap and licking your face in a matter of seconds. As soon as you would reach to touch her she would throw herself onto the ground and open her legs so that you could rub her belly. And once she got excited the only thing that could calm her down is to play with here ears.


We have these doors that can be halfway opend at the top so that you could chat with people outside without having to open your entire door. It did not take her too long to figure out how to jump over them and soon it was almost impossible to keep her out of the house and off the sofa.

She recently had pups and the only how we knew she was pregnant at first was because she could not quite get over the door because she got stuck by her belly. We were so concerned for her pups becaus of her hyperactive personality. Once she had the pups she was a great mother. For the first couple of days I would always check in on them and tell her what a great job she did at being a mom and somehow she had such an understanding look in her eyes I could swear she understood every word I was saying.


We had recently fenced in a part of our yard so that the dogs had an area for themselves and we would not have to tie them because of paranoid neighbours and the horrible people who threw poison into the road. That fence and gate did not stop gina and soon she was jumping over that too.

Gina was truely a special dog and my family and her pups will miss her, of that I am sure. There was never a dull moment with her and she was a blessing to be around. I have grown up with dogs and they have acted on my behalf a number of times and have always been around to protect me and keep me safe . They never refused a hug and have always been there to listen to me. I know to some it may seem strange to have such a deep love for an animal. For us our animals are more than just pets...they are a part of our family.

Gina as a puppy

R.I.P Gina

Mental Preperation

Its about that time...again. A new semester is just around the corner and I am mentally preparing myself for the whirlwind called University life. My last year has taken a real tole on me, but somehow no matter how horrible, stressful and frustrating it gets...I always look forward to a new semester. I am making a few new semester resolutions.

Organization is key

A couple of friends and I are moving into a new and more spacious place and I plan to keep my work area as organized as possible. I am even considering some ugly office trays. In my field of study there is plenty of reading material and often it becomes all so overwhelming that I procrastinate and find myself in a very sticky situation around exams. I know this is my weak area and I am planning to attack it head on. I want more out of my education then stress for exams. I want to be able to step out of university more than an crammer.

Get Involved...more

There are about a million and three things that I want to be a part of before I graduate. Over my past years at University I have conquered so many personal fears and it has truly allowed me to blossom. I have run for elections, been a part of a student leadership body, and acted in a play infront of hundreds of people. I came to University bursting with potential, but fear has kept me back from doing so much. Once I stopped allowing my insecurities hold me back there was so much reward to be had. However, fear has still kept me from certain things...well that is no more. I will step boldly this year.

Balance

As much as I want to improve both in the classroom and outside of it I have to keep one thing in mind: BALANCE. If the past couple of years have taught me anything it is that balance is key. I have to keep on reminding myself of that. It is so easy to get bogged down in one area of life. I have to remember to slacken my hold on certain things and let loose. I know for sure that I need to be at the beach for often. The semester I spent the most time at the beach was the semester I performed the best both in the classroom and in my extra carriculars.

I am keeping these resolutions simple and basic....WISH ME LUCK

xoxo Sheba

Hair cut and Hello Hydration

Let me say first of that this is not going to be a blog about strictly hair care and product reviews. However, like most curly girls I do take pride in my hair and I am always looking for new ways to keep it healthy and happy and looking good.

This week I purchased the Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner. I have mixed it together with some Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO) (btw EVOO is a miracle worker). I first used it on my two stand twist (which I bantu knot every night), I loved the results. It smoothed my very split ends and kept my hair very moisturized. After keeping my hair in twists for four days I rocked a twist out on the fiftth day. I have to first of all say that I have a really thick head of hair and that no matter what, it will poof. However, with the Hello Hydration and Olive oil my curls we controled and bouncy and most importantly soft and hydrated and they did not poof too much.

This morning I decided to wash my hair with Garnier Fructis Moisture Works and conditioned with Hello Hydration, which I used as a combing conditioner as reccomended as safe to leave in ones hair by tightlycurly . Well, after attemptimg the tightlycurly method on half of my head I lost patients and just slicked my hair back.

I decided to get a cut inspired by Nathalie Emanuel

I showed the hair dresser the picture and he began his work. I also stipulated that i wanted absolutely no damaged ends left behind (they were split about 4 ways...until about 4 months ago I treated my hair horribly). I was in a bit of shock when he cut the first layer and he calmed me down saying that that would be the shortest. He did not style my hair because I am pretty sceptical about most peoples ability to style hair when the request is not dried, fried and lied to the side. I pretty much walked out with a picked fro which I pulled in one. On the way out I felt my hair and it was still soft from the routine I used this morning.I am going to do some pretty chunky twists tonight and see the results in the morn.


This is just a twist out on damp hair with the hello hydration and EVOO. However, my ends are coiling up again, and I am so pleased about that.

xoxoSheba

Curly or Straight?

I am in total shock! Jessica Szohr is a curly girl like me. How did I not know this?
Anyhow I am gonna post a couple of pictures...I wish she would wear he hair natural more often, it looks absolutely stunning.






So...what say you? Curly or Straight ?

xoxoSheba

Song of the Day

I have to say since I have discovered Corrine's Music she has become one of my favourite artists. What are you listening to?

After all we all bleed Red

I wonder if anyone else does this. You know that little button in the left hand corner that says next blog...I click on it a whole lot. Today I discovered this sweet blog done by this American woman who adopted two Ethiopian girls. I checked it out and I was so moved. Here there is this lady who was willing to adopt two little girls who come from this completely different background and instead of ignoring it and slowly earasing their heritage she is embracing it.

How many of us can say that we are this open to a culture that is not our own. On that note how many of us have let culture, religion , nationality or race allow us forget that underneath it all we are just humans? The issue of division for these exact reasons has always been a concern of mine. Growing up in Germany as a bi-racial child I was soon made aware that I was different. I remember my parents always saying, you are yourself and you are no colour, you are a person. Of course at that age I wanted nothing more than simply make friends and for people to like me.

How ideal would it be for every person to simply embrace another regardless of their background or the colour of their skin but simply by virtue of them being a human just like themselves. I cannot for the life of me figure out how any person cannot appreciate that basically we are all the same. It is true we all have different ways of expressing ourselves culturally and spiritually but at the end of the day for most of us it is all towards the same end.

Why do so many people shut out things that are different? Is it so hard to see the beauty in this plathora of creative expression of basic human instinct. So many religions preach that theirs is the only way and those who do not follow are dammed. However, if some gave it a second thought instead of mouthing dogmatically what has been preached to them they would recognize how utterly rediculous that it (yes I SAID IT). How could it possibly be the intention on Jah, Allah or God (whatever you want to call this higher power that most of us recognize exisits) to leave out more than half the globe because they do not suscibe to what the other is saying if he or she created us all. If it is the argument of some that we were created in his own image and likeness, then how can so many be so presumptious that his own image is so one dimentional?

What is it that makes it so difficult for people to look beyond those layers and simply recognizing themseleves.

Think about it

xoxoSheba

Appreciating the small things

I now have a total of 5 followers!!! I know it does not seem like much but I am grateful for you five that think what I have to say is worth reading.

I promise to try and keep it interesting

xoxoSheba

My motto

This is not how I always saw life but more and more it is becoming my motto.
You only have one life... right!
Live with no regrets...this life is nothing but one huge journey filled with many lessons.
Take joy in the small moments and I guarantee you that they will pile up and fill you with happiness. Its not about the huge victories but in appreciating the small ones. Live in the presant, it makes no sense doing something and thinking about doing something different...LIVE IN THE MOMENT!
xoxoSheba

Song of the Day

I have to admit I was never the biggest fan of Soca music, usually I would only listen to it around Carnival. However, I have to say this thing is an all year round thing for me from this moment on. I think I like the groovy soca as opposed to the power soca. Who knows...I might even go to soca monarch this year

Freshly Ground- Doo be Doo Song of the Day

Thanks for the intro...you know who you are

Beauty? Part 1

Over the past few months I have been seriously reconsidering a lot of things but most of all I have been reconsidering what we as women of African decent consider as beauty in ourselves. What do we identify as beauty? Is it largely euro centric...have we been carefully manipulated into some sort of self loathing of our natural features?

Our kinky/ curly hair, our curves, our broad hips, our noses, our lips. I don't think I am wrong when I say that the picture of beauty that is projected and what so many of us have been chasing for a long time is not how we naturally look. How many of us have fallen victim to the creamy crack (hair straighteners....not actual crack) so that we can have that straight long "flowy" hair? I know I had my share of chemically altered hair texture.

When I was about 14 my hairdresser convinced my mother that I should have my hair texturized, to make it more manageable..you know...because "obviously" my natural texture could not be managed. I remember sitting in that chair with two hair dressers over my "mop" (as they called it) and complaining that their hands got all cramped up from trying to detangle my hair. When the texturizing process was finished and I walked out of the salon the first comment I got from a lady was :

"Oh I like your hair like that...it makes your face look so much softer"

I have to admit I did agree with her at the time, I found my hair a lot more manageable. I was able to just comb it into a pony tail with these nice loose curls flowing from it. Finally I was able to show of the length of hair.

A few years later my secondary school graduation rolled around and I called up my hairdresser and told her I wanted to go completly straight. I made my appointment and got my hair completely straightened. O.M.G it was soooo soft and stick straight. When my father saw it he was so disappointed. He is Rastafarian and loathed any type of hair manipulation, he still cringes when I get a trim. Until now I did not understand why he cared so much that I altered the natural texture of my hair. It was just hair right!!!

That summer I went to Europe to visit with family and friends (Btw I am biracial (mom -European dad- afro caribbean) and I was so proud of my new hair. I always wore it out, I would just wet it in the morning and scrunch it to get a light curl.

Fast forward to my first real relationship. I met this cute guy and he adored my hair. He loved how long and straight it was and he also loved when I wore it curly.

Fast forward a couple of months down the line....I had this rare condition that caused partial baldness. I had two small bald spots to the back of my head. I FREAKED!!! All my life I had this long thick hair and now I was going bald (or so I thought). In a frenzy to make myself feel better I rushed to the hairdresser and asked her to touch up my roots... I don't know what I was thinking....how was that supposed to fix anything. Thankfully she refused. My mom spoke to a friend of hers about my condition who started dishing out horror stories about how hair relaxer can cause your hair to fall out (If that is true is still to be confirmed). At that point I vowed to stop chemically manipulating my hair and decided to grow back my natural hair.

My bf at the time (yea same one) was not too pleased about my decision and as my roots grew out he even teased me a bit (I don't think he really meant harm) . He even complained that my new growth scratched him. (we broke up not too long after...not because of my hair though)

I continued to grow out my hair and cut of the ends bit by bit while wearing my hair in braids. Creativity struck and all of the sudden I made it my business to come up with new ideas of how to braid my hair. I remember sitting in Caribbean Studies class and my teacher talking about hair styles and telling us how the different intricate braiding styles stemmed from Africa. This was not news to me but somehow a bit of pride welled up in me. I felt good because unlike the majority of people I was in some way (even though by accident) staying true to my African roots (literally).

(About a year later)
So finally I cut of all the straightened ends and and was left with a fro. At first when I looked at myself I did not feel beautiful (my mom loved it somehow). My hair was no longer long and I felt like a piece of me was missing. I immediatly braided my hair into single braids and comforted myself. I looked at my reflection and guess what...this was not so bad.

At that point I had a new bf (you know teenagers) and he liked my natural hair. He always complimented me and said I was the most beautiful girl he knew. That did boost my confidence a whole lot and by then the texture of my hair sort of became irrelivant to me.
People stared to compare me to Empress Jeanille from Tempo (a caribbean music mtv channel). I thought she was geogous and didn't mind the comparisson.







Fast forward to University

I always wore my hair in twists and alot of the time people mistaked my twists for dread locks. I really did not mind and in some way I felt proud, after all my father was rastafrian. I rocked those twists and I still do.

Last semester I started to get really fed up of thoes twists and started to flat iron my hair and even considered going back to the creamy crack. At that point one of my hall mates introcuced me to this great web page about natural afro centric hair curlynikki.com and I fell in love with my texture all over again. It was from then on forward that I began to really understand my hair.

I started visiting a ton of blogs and suscribing to youtubers who demonstrated how they took care of their natural textured hair. A common thread ran through all of their posts. At one point or another most of them felt that how their hair naturally looked was not good enough. They all felt like they needed straight hair. Some had their permanently relaxed while others worked hard to flat iron it into limp and thin straightness. WHY ON EARTH HAVE MOST US DONE THAT? What is it that makes us believe that how we naturally look is not good enough.

It is a fact that especially in north America that many people consider that kinky or curly hair in its natural state does not appear professional. Why? I have to ask....what makes it so damn unprofessional? What are we so afraid of?

In the words of the great Bob Marley (also bi-racial) "Emanicpate yourself from mental slavery" Somewhere along the way we have been brain washed into thinking that things of African decent are not good enough and it has caused us to manipulate our very physical being. Some may say...hey its only hair lady... I beg to differ....Think about it

xoxoSheba

Song of the Day

I woke up with this song on my mind and somehow it followed me all day. I played it at work and my colleague and friend who I have so much in common with goes....I love this song too....I have to say this is definitely the song of the day and I also have to say....Maxwell is soooo sexy

Is this normal?

I got so excited about starting my blog. For months I have been randomly checking out blogs, mainly natural hair care and stuff of that nature and thinking to myself...I should do this. Today I decide that I should and immediately a million ideas flow into my head about what I can share with the world. At work I can hardly sit still, I am itching to get home and get some piece of mind to put it all out there.However,as as soon as I click new post...my mind goes...*crickets chirp* can u believe this crap...blasted writers block...Is this normal?

xoxoSheba

Dear World

Dear World,

Today 15.07.10 I have not a single follower and have changed my very first blog post about a million times. I am starting this blog to write about just about anything.I suppose we can say I am making up for not becoming a journalist. So here it goes.....

xoxoSheba